


Faith in Falling

by wayward daughter (Abeautifullittlefool)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Nerd Dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-07
Updated: 2014-01-18
Packaged: 2018-01-07 22:37:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1125217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abeautifullittlefool/pseuds/wayward%20daughter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean starts going to a new high school and develops a crush on Cas, someone way out his league (or so he thinks).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

     Dean hears laughter coming from the crowded table in front of him. A group laughing but he can always pick out one in particular. Dean hasn’t been at this school long, only a week or two, but he noticed him right away. His ears can’t help but perk up in the hallways hearing more information (or lies) about him. From these conversations he hasn’t learned much but that his name is Cas and he is _way_ out Dean’s league. _Even if_ the hushed rumors were true that he likes guys.

     Still Dean can't help but look up from the mounds of books in front of him. Cautiously he peers out from his thick rimmed glasses, past his own empty table and he sees an ocean of blue looking back. Cas parts his lips smiling directly at the unfamiliar face. Dean's heart quickens in his chest and he looks back down at the books in front of him. He rereads a sentence multiple times, the words meaning nothing to him. Dean finally gives up and packs his things together.

      On the way to his locker the bell chimes and Dean sighs in relief that the school day is finally over. Eventually the hallway thins out leaving him solely by his locker. That is, until a pair of footsteps echo along the corridor. The steps slow and stop right next to Dean, the mysterious face covered by the locker door. Slowly Dean breathes in and shuts the door revealing the ocean of blue he saw earlier. The blue eyed boy speaks first "How come I've never seen you before?" Cas searches Dean's emerald eyes for answers but his mouth refuses to form words it seems. 

    "Uh, I-I dunno." Dean looks at the cold tile floor beneath their feet and rubs his chin pensively. Cas laughs softly and replies 

    "Okay well my name's Cas."

    "I'm Dean."

    "Listen, Dean, I'm usually not this forward but I must admit you have peaked my curiosity."

    Cas clicks the pen in his hand and begins to scrawl something on a piece of scrap paper. Dean adjusts his glasses and takes the paper Cas gives him. Confused, Dean opens his mouth to say something but Cas holds out his index finger saying 

    "Just hold on to it. If you ever want to talk to me that's how to reach me. Think of this as our little secret."

    The last words are whispered like honey into Dean's ear and he feels Cas' breathe warm his skin. Dean opens his eyes unaware they were ever closed and finds Cas gone. He closes his hand into a fist around the paper and leaves school. 

 

 

* * *

 

       
    "You seem unusually chipper today" the little brother's words snap Dean out of his daze. He smiles and says 

    "Yeah, I guess. I dunno. Today was a pretty good day is all. Plus I finally finished reading Lord of the Rings." Sam rolls his eyes and replies 

    "Please. As if I'm falling for that. I know you finished that weeks ago. Now spill." Dean leans back throwing his hands in the air 

    "Oh come on Sammy can't a guy just be happy?! Besides I couldn't tell you if I wanted to. It's a secret. Sorry Sammy but it's very hush hush and all." 

    "You can't even tell your own brother? Pleeeeeasseeeee?" Sam pouts and gives his brother big doting puppy dog eyes.

    "Alright! Alright! But this does not leave this room comprende?  I think my crush, the one I told you about before, I think I might actually have a shot believe it or not." The crumpled up paper is given to Sam and he opens it carefully. A gasp leaps out of Sam and he nearly yells 

    "Dean! You have to call right now." The older brother takes back the paper and looks at it again (although this is unnecessary since the numbers are already memorized). He dials it and hears the phone ring a few times until 

    "Hello, Dean." 

    "Hey, Cas. Sorry if this is jumping the gun a bit considering you just gave me your number earlier today" Sam mouths words at Dean but he waves them off deciding to leave the room entirely. Dean walks to his bedroom and closes the door waiting in anticipation for a response.

    "I'm happy you called actually. I was hoping you would. Listen, I have cross country practice most days after school but I'm free this Friday. Do you wanna go see a movie or something?" 

    "Sure! Definitely. There's actually this one about Icarus I've been wanting to see. It's kinda nerdy but-

    "-That sounds great! See you then" 

    The phone beeped and that was that.

    The days grew long in anticipation. Every second seemed to drag on Friday. Dean taps his fingernails on his desk staring at the clock at the front of the bleak classroom. One little  _ding_  and like a bolt of lightning Dean rushes to his locker. He runs his hand through his golden hair and then smoothes out his old jeans.  Minutes pass, Dean looks around seeing nothing, his heart drops. The metal locker door slams shut and he keeps his dim eyes fixed on the floor. Dean shakes his head walking out, arms crossed against his chest. Suddenly a strong hand grabs Dean's right shoulder turning him around 

    "Hey! I'm sorry Dean. I tried calling you to let you know I'd be a little late. I understand if you don't wanna do this anymore though..." Cas' low voice trails off as he rubs the back of his neck with a sweaty palm. A hearty chuckle erupts out of Dean. He speaks up

    "Don't sweat it. Besides my Dad's gone for the rest of the week and my little brother doesn't mind." The two begin to walk out of school to the movie theater only a few blocks away. The conversation drifts between laughter and sincerity, all of it wonderful. They reach the movie theater and realize it's too late to see the Icarus movie. Cas looks over to Dean and says

    "Oh well. I guess the low budget zombie movie will have to do." Sighing exasperatedly Dean replies 

    "Yeah. Unless you're too  _scared_ " without another word Cas briskly walks up to the ticket counter.

    "Two for the next showing of the zombie movie please."

 

* * *

 

 

    About a quarter way through the movie and nothing too scary yet. Dean and Cas sit at the very back of the movie theater in the last row making fun of the film more than anything. The first zombie of the movie finally appears and Dean whispers to Cas 

    "Damn. Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed." Cas slaps his knee and breaks out into roaring laughter that fills the tiny theater. A patron stands up 

    "Can you shut up? I paid good money to see this movie." The man sits back down and the laughter dies out into silence allowing the movie to actually be frightening. Dean clutches the arm rest between him and Cas. The latter moves his own hand on top of Dean's, softly squeezing for reassurance. The muscles in Dean relax as does his clenched jaw. The movie ends, the lights turn on, and Cas removes his hand. He gazes at Dean silently a moment then licks his lips and squints his inquisitive eyes before asking

    "So what would you like to do now?" Dean thinks a moment and says 

    "Do you wanna go back to my house and hang out a bit?" The house in reality is being temporarily rented and not much of a house at all, but a small apartment. None the less Cas agrees enthusiastically and his enthusiasm refuses to wane even after noticing the peeling paint and stained carpet. Sam sits at flimsy wooden table doing homework, not bothering to look up he asks 

    "So? Dean? How'd it go with your new  _boyfriend_?" Dean's face flushes red hot and his eyes look murderous but before he can say anything Cas interrupts with

    "You're Sam I'm guessing? As you may know already I'm Cas." Sam slowly lifts his head up, glancing nervously between Cas and his brother. His hand moves over his mouth in shock before saying

    "Hi. I am so sorry. You can just pretend like I'm not here." Dean wraps an arm around Cas and leads him into his bedroom. He closes the white door and half jokes 

    "Kids. Huh? They are just somethin' else." Already sitting on the bed Cas responds

    "I think it's nice you're so close to your brother. I could never be that honest with my siblings. Plus they're all so busy fighting with each other sometimes it feels like that's all we ever talk about." Dean sits on the bed with Cas, the springs groaning beneath the additional weight. They both sit in silence for a bit thinking about each other's lives and differences. Sunlight pours in through the window behind the bed and paints their faces. Dean's thick glasses reflect back some of the light, thus covering up his eyes with light. Cas gently reaches out and takes the frames covering Dean's thin face. He sets them on the 70s style night stand. Attempting to Explain himself he says

    "Now I can actually see you. Although I guess now you can't see me." Dean responds by laughing and Cas continues to look at him so closely one might think he's counting all of Dean's scattered freckles. Cas stares into Dean's eyes and comments almost entirely to himself 

    "Those are really beautiful eyes." Dean smiles shyly saying

    "Oh shut up." Their eyes close. Cas leans forward and his soft lips meet Dean's. Dean leans back and lays on the rickety bed. Cas kisses Dean's neck over and over and  _over_  again and he can't help but whisper "Oh Cas". Dean's dull nails scratch at Cas' back. As Cas moves back up to Dean's rosy lips their heavy breathes echo each other. Cas asks softly into Dean's ear

    "Next Friday. I say we do this again. You up for it?" Dean opens his eyes and sighs 

    "Yeah sure 'course. But don't go just yet. You should stay for dinner. After all I do make a mean cheeseburger." 

    "As appealing as that sounds I should really be going. I'll have to take you up on that offer some day though." Cas gets off the bed and waits for Dean to escort him from the room. On the way out he waves kindly to Sam. After Cas is gone Dean retreats back to his room and can't help but stare outside at the birds flying in the crisp afternoon sky. 

* * *

 

    The sun rises and sets and each time a day passes but Dean wishes it would all happen faster. It's Tuesday. The same day that last week had brought Cas' number into Dean's hands. It's last period again and Dean peeks into the cafeteria noticing Cas and his jock friends. Cas doesn't say anything to the group and glances around absently to the empty table in front of him. He looks down at his phone and then to the cafeteria door where Dean is. Cas opens his mouth slightly and tilts his head. After another beat he says to no one in particular 

    "I'll be back." Cas abruptly stands to walk to the door but Dean is already halfway down the empty hall. Cas yells after Dean, stopping him in his tracks. Sharply, Dean turns around 

    "What do you want Cas?" At these words Cas staggers back a bit. He pauses and after a moment says 

    "I want to talk to you. I want to see you. I don't want to wait until Friday and I know you have this period free just like me." Dean sighs nodding in agreement. They walk aimlessly around the hallways talking.

     “So are you upset with me?” Cas asks the question hesitantly and the air feels thick. Dean grits his teeth together wishing he had just kept walking by himself. His voice is quiet and says “No. Of course not. The last time we met was more fun than I’ve had in a long _long_ time. I just want you to be honest with me here. Why in the world would you want to see me? I don’t have any friends here. I “

     “-Dean. Stop.” Cas interrupts forcefully and looks earnestly into Dean’s eyes to make sure he’s listening. “I don’t care how popular you are. I care about you and _who_ you are.”

 

     Suddenly a teacher's loud high heels click across the tile floor around the corner. Dean grabs Cas' hand and they silently move into the cramped and dusty janitor's closet. The two look intently at each other through the dim lighting.  Dean spoke up, still looking at Cas,

 

    "That was close." Cas nods his head and licks his lips before replying. 

    "Yeah. Maybe we should stay here a little bit longer- just ...in ...case." Dean closes what little space remains between them with a soft kiss. Cas lightly pushes Dean back into the wall behind him. The world kept turning and time kept passing but for them the moment seemed unending. An obtrusive  _ding_  let’s them know they’re not immune to the passing of time. But Cas continues to sift his fingers smoothly through Dean's hair. Dean's hands rest at Cas' slim waist and he bows his head 

    "My Dad's back from his trip and he'll kill me if I'm not back soon. I want to stay but-"

    "I should go too." Cas sighs. "Friday though, we'll see each other then. And I meant every word I said before."

 

     Dean laughs half heartedly “Yeah yeah.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

Dean slams the front door with tears blurring his vision. He stops and takes off his bulky glasses. Still holding them in his right hand, he wipes the tears away from his tired eyes. Dean breathes in shakily while slowly resting his glasses back on the bridge of his freckled nose.  _One hour,_  he thinks,  _better make it count._  Not wishing to waste a second more he jogs to the field Cas and him agreed to meet. Today is Friday after all. 

    By the time he arrives Cas is laying on a red and white checkered cloth blanket with all sorts of treats laid out. The most important including two cheese burgers a slice of apple pie a corkscrew, and a full bottle of champagne. The first two items were from a local diner and the last stolen from home.

    Dean lays down beside Cas and claps slowly, "well isn't this classy? Too bad I've only got about 45 min to enjoy all of this." His voice ends on a bitter note and Cas replies "It is a shame but I suppose we'll manage." He takes the metallic corkscrew and opens up the champagne causing it to fizz everywhere. Cas brings the heavy bottle to his own lips first taking a big swig and then holding it out for Dean. 

    "I think I'll pass but thanks." Cas tilts his head in question. Dean attempts to answer "I just don't really drink. I've seen what it can do to people and uh I guess I just don't see the point in the whole thing. But go ahead. I won't stop you." Cas' blue eyes inspect the bottle and then drift back to Dean. 

    Cas says quietly "Listen, Dean, I'm sorry. I wasn’t thinking but I do know one thing. You are nothing like your dad. If you don't want to drink that's fine but he does enough controlling over your life. I think you should still have some decisions for yourself." After a moment of silence Dean nods his head and takes a cautious sip from the bottle. Another moment passes and he takes a bigger swig. Cas pats him on the reassuringly on the back, "It's gonna be okay."

    Soon well over half the champagne is gone as are the cheeseburgers. Dean looks up at the sky and notices the sky speckled with thousands of stars that weren't there when he first arrived. Cas whispers into Dean's ear "it's beautiful. Isn't it? You know they kinda remind of you." A smile spreads across Dean's face, eyes still fixed on the stars, "and how is that?" His voice is slightly mocking but also still yearning for an answer. 

    Cas sighs "Your freckles for one thing. They're scattered about your face just like the stars are thrown onto the charcoal sky. But anybody with sight would notice that." Cas searches for the right words in the sky and then searches Dean's face "They remind me of you because they bring light where there’s darkness. The moon always gets the credit but it just reflects light from the sun. It's the stars that create light in darkness. Stars show direction when things seem lost. They bring hope to those that wish on them. And of course stars are simply beautiful for what they are, they always have been, and they always will be."

    Dean takes Cas' face into his hands and kisses his lips gently. "Cas. You know how I feel about you but there's something you need to know." Dean's watery eyes begin to overflow and tears spill out. Cas opens his mouth but Dean says "My dad told me today that I only have a couple more weeks here-tops. I was hoping this place would be different but I guess-I guess not."

     His voice cracks at the end of his sentence and Dean begins sobbing into Cas' cotton t-shirt. Cas rubs Dean's back. He finds his hand running over wet spots and realizes he is crying too. Dean lifts his head and paws at his eyes. He grabs the champagne and finishes what's left. Cas unwraps the saran wrap off of the pie slice "here. You should have it. I know how much you like it." Hesitantly, Dean accepts it. 

     The two sit in silence as Dean tries to enjoy the slice despite his burning eyes. Cas speaks up first “You’ll be here for homecoming at least right? It is next Friday.”

     “Even if I was here I really can’t imagine myself going to that sort of thing.” Cas clenches his jaw and thinks a moment before saying anything rash. He speaks slowly and almost out of Dean’s hearing range but not quite.

     “You’ve never been to a dance before.” Dean’s lack of denial only further supports Cas’ statement. Cas continues “It could be fun. You and me dancing to the hits of the 80s. That is the theme this year after all.”

     “Sorry Cas I just don’t think so.” Dean looks off for a moment before inhaling sharply “ _Fuck._ What time is it? I gotta go.” He clumsily stands up still feeling the effects from their meal and attempts running home. Cas mouths bye for his own sake more than anything and cleans up the mess by himself before returning home.

 

 

* * *

 

     “What the hell were you thinking Dean?” John’s voiced booms throughout the tiny apartment. Dean looks at the dirty carpet and clenches his jaw so tight he thinks his teeth might just shatter. The older man sniffs Dean and tilts his head in recognition. The boy’s heart races and face flushes red. His father clutches the other’s shirt and says “You’ve been drinking. Not just beer either from the smell. You know what I was being nice before letting you stay an extra week. But it’s clear you don’t appreciate my kindness. We’re leaving next Saturday. And that’s final. You’re lucky I don’t just tell you to pack up now.”

     Softly in a broken whisper Dean replies “Thank you.” Eyes still fixed on the floor he walks to his room and shuts the door. Without another step more he sinks to the floor and takes off his glasses. Dean puts his face in his hands letting the water from his eyes wash down his palms. His cries are muffled and unknown to Sam or his dad. After a long time Dean crawls under his covers and finds he isn’t crying anymore. Everything feels still and silent as if everything was empty. He stares at the darkness unable to think or feel or even sleep. He closes his tired eyes and waits for the morning.

 


	3. Chapter 3

_Bzzzz._ Dean’s cell phone notifies him of a text message. He opens his puffy eyes in surprise that he slept at all. Dean grabs his phone and sees the message is from Cas. His heart sinks in memory of the previous night but reads on. It reads as follows:

_Hello Dean. I hope things are ok w/you and your dad. Maybe we can hang out today? It might be a nice distraction._

     Dean begins to type out his reply.

_Hey Cas. Things aren’t great actually. He’s making me leave next Sat. I’m sorry I got you into in this. I feel so selfish for wanting to hang out with you when I know I’m just gonna leave. This isn’t fair to you. Maybe we should just stop seeing eachother entirely. It's just gonna hurt you more and that's the last thing I want for you._

On the other end Cas types for a long time and then finally sends his response.

_This isn’t your fault Dean. It’s just as unfair to you as it is for me. So you aren’t being selfish at all. This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith. I think you’re scared of believing in something so resolutely and being wrong or having fate decide other circumstances. But if you don’t have faith how can you love? Seeing you is also my decision and I know the consequences. But I also know that I’ve never met anyone like you before. I think it would be a huge regret if we didn’t spend whatever time we could together. It might hurt later but at least we are giving it the run it deserves._

Dean’s lips part and leave his mouth agape in search for words. He closes his eyes and after a moment his mouth changes into a small, soft smile. Dean opens his eyes and messages back.

_As long as you know full and well what’s coming. What time do you want to meet?_

A sigh of relief and joy leaves Cas as he texts Dean.

_Is 1pm at your house good?_

_Awesome._

 

* * *

 

     The doorbell rings and Dean feels like a shot of electricity came rushing through his veins with it. John is out for the moment and so Dean leaves without the thought of repercussions. He also knows John still has work to finish so the earliest they can leave is still Saturday. Dean checks in with Sam before he leaves to make sure all bases are covered none the less.

     “You sure things are gonna be ok Sammy? I don’t have to go.” Sam rests a comforting hand on his brother’s shoulder “Yeah Dean. Everything is going to be fine. I don’t open the door for strangers. I don’t leave unless completely necessary without telling you first. And if Dad asks where you are I tell him chess tournament.” Dean nods his head proudly and says bye.

     He meets Cas outside and his eyes seem to shine brighter than usual in the tan sunlight. They walk and talk for a while outside appreciating the warm and lovely weather before the chill of autumn arrives. They try to decide where to go for the afternoon and as they discuss their shadows only grow longer and longer. Finally Dean and Cas decide.

     The sound of pins crashing and being swept away is a familiar and welcome one. The bowling alley is retro fitted with wood paneling, florescent lighting, and smoking still allowed for those old enough to. They grab a lane and Cas tells Dean “Now, you may not believe this, but you better watch out because I am quite the bowler.” Dean looks from Cas’ messy charcoal hair to his loosely fitting bowling shoes and can’t help but laugh. Cas may somehow manage to pull of the bowling shoes but there is _no way_ he is beating Dean Winchester, bowling extraordinaire.

     Cas stands at the front concentrated. His blue eyes focus on the pins. He kisses the less than sanitary pink swirly bowling ball in his hands and with perfect form all of the pins but one fall down.  His slippery shoes move him swiftly around and he’s looking at Dean who claps in surprise “Alright. Not bad.” Cas rolls his eyes and then returns them to the front of the lane. The pink meets the light pine wood floor and rolls straight down the middle. Unfortunately for Cas the only pin there is far right. His anxious hands grip his face “No! Please just go right. Move. For me?” It continues rolling straight and Cas shakes his head exclaiming “I think there is something wrong with this lane Dean.”

     Dean grabs his purple bowling ball and says “It’s okay Cas! Not everyone’s a pro like me.” As Dean walks closer to the line Cas retorts “I hope you gutter ball!” Dean gracefully lets go. Strike. He turns around and tells Cas calmly “And that’s how it’s done.” Cas folds his arms over his chest and fights the smile creeping across his lips. The rivalry continues but Dean takes a strong lead after a few frames.  It’s Cas’ turn and he stands to take it. Before Dean sits down Cas moves directly in front of him. The two are so close their noses almost touch and then Cas leans in to Dean’s ear whispering fiercely  “Dean Winchester, you want to play for real? I’ll play for real. I’ll show _you_ how it’s done.” Dean has to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

     Cas makes a strike. And then another. And another. Dean’s jaw drops more each time and his playing suffers as a result from the sudden change in his opponent’s skill. Cas leading in points it’s Dean’s turn, the last turn, and the decider of the nail biting game. Despite Cas’ recent improvements Dean holds his head confidently. The points require a strike if he’s to win. Cas and Dean eye each other like animals in the wild. The one in the lead proposes an idea “what do you think about making this more interesting? By perhaps raising the stakes. If you win, the rest of the night is your decision. If I win, the night is mine.” Dean didn’t have to be back until probably 11pm. He answers Cas “Sure. Whatever I want?”

     “Whatever you wish.”

     “Let’s tango.”

     Cas tilts his head “You don’t have to tell me what your idea is. You can just bowl.”

     Dean sighs “Not what I meant Cas.” Dean walks up and feels his palms begin to sweat. His ferocious eyes glance from his feet to the pins and he centers himself with a deep breathe. The purple ball spins down hurdling towards its inevitable crash. Every last pin falls. Relief washes over him and drowns out his pointless anxiety.

     As Cas and Dean untie their shoes Cas him “So if you don’t want to tango…what would you like to do?” Dean pauses pensively.

     “Do you have a TV in your room? And would anyone bother us if we were in there?” Cas gives Dean an incredulous bur curious look. He replies hesitantly “I do have a TV in my room. It’s old but it gets a decent amount of channels. And I doubt anyone would bother us once were in my room. On the way to my room is a different story but I suppose you could sneak through the window.”

    Dean nods and smiles mischeaviously. "Not ideal, but doable. I hope you like doctors in coyboy boots."


End file.
